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Hint to future Survivor players: STAY AWAY FROM THIS PRODUCT
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"Just... doesn't it feel like something's... missing?" - Walter White, Breaking Bad, S01E03
Ahhhrg. I hate to be Eliza Orlins, but there is not much that bugs me more than a quitter, especially when the only things prompting the quit are fatigue and social issues. There was no injury, no incredibly outright feud, and Julie wasn't even next on the chopping block. Honestly, if she just stayed in the game a little bit longer, she would at least get to be a member of the jury and have a shot at the win. I'm not saying it's incredibly likely that had Julie stayed she would have won, but every day you're in the game you're one step closer to victory. No matter how much people argue with you about trail mix or say that your boyfriend was a douche, if they don't vote you out, you have a shot at going all the way. And, if nothing else, at least stay in the game to help Jeremy and Keith! They need ya! Speaking of Jeremy, I suppose the one upside to Julie's quit is that Jeremy's saga will continue at least one more episode. If not for Julie's leaving, even Jeff Probst agreed that Mr. Collins would have been booted. With this quit to finish the merge episode and with the lack of smart gameplay going on, my hopes for this season are withering away. Nevertheless, the show is still Survivor, so there's still enough juice each episode to keep me entertained.
Starting off, we see Keith getting pissy at his tribemates for almost voting him out the night before. After expressing his anger, we can see clearly that Keith is going to flip over to his son's alliance as soon as possible. Good for him. Fight the power.
But then, just as we thought things were heating up... MERGE!!!!!!
Both tribes are led to a feast where everyone freaks out in happiness. There's kabobs, trail mix, other foods, and did I mention trail mix? Trail mix. Trail mix. Trail mix. Everyone decides to eat a bunch of trail mix, except Julie decides to take a bunch and put it into her pack. Keep this in mind. Trail mix.
Moving right along, we come to the immunity challenge pretty soon. Here, Jeff instructs the survivors to hold their balls up. About 10 minutes in, Jeff lets all of the remaining people (4 men) have two balls, making everyone anatomically correct. Hehehehehehehe.
It all comes down to Wes and Keith in the end. Father and son duking it out for an immunity idol that will end up being one of the big questions of this episode. Keith takes home the win, making me as a viewer incredibly happy. How often do we get an old southern man taking home the very first individual immunity?
So, as we head back around to camp, the new alliances begin to take shape. And, luckily for us viewers, it looks like it's gonna be Josh vs Jeremy. That's right - the two most dynamic players this season are gonna go at it. Basically Russell vs Rob part II. The best part of this episode was their little warfare. First off, they recognize that they are the only two real players this season and acknowledge that although they have more in common than they do against each other, there can only be one strategist. Thus, sides begin to be taken until it's just Jon and Jaclyn left in the middle... again. A fucking gain. Honestly, one of the biggest problems with this season has been these two bozos being caught in the middle of the game. Both come across as so unintelligent and oblivious to the scope of the game it just aggravates me that they get to be in charge.
Then, the trail mix debacle occurs. Although editing didn't really tell us whether it was theft or conservationism that made Julie end up with the trail mix, Julie had a shitload of trail mix hidden away in her pack. As we know how hungry everyone on this season is, upon realization that Julie had trail mix, people were pissed. While Julie was on a walk, everyone raided her pack and devoured her trail mix, literally killing her food supply and figuratively killing her game. This feasting of trail mix was the final nail in the coffin for the self proclaimed "girl with the boobs." She called Jeff down to the beach and after some surprisingly non-harsh words, was sent back to her bigoted boyfriend (amazing alliteration). Thus, Jeremy was prolonged one more episode, allowing him to make the jury and Keith's immunity win was, I guess, all for not.
That's it for this week. As far as merge episodes go, it could have been monumental, but with the quitter, the episode fell flat... just as a lot of this season has. Much as I enjoy the little war between Josh and Jeremy, this season could easily become One World after worthy adversaries disappear.
Come on San Juan Del Sur - I believe in you! Make me proud! Be smart!
Oh - and no more talk of trail mix, ya hear me?
Labels: Blood vs Water, Jaclyn Shultz, Jeff Probst, Jeremy Collins, Jon Mische, Josh Canfield, Julie McGee, Keith Nale, San Juan Del Sur, Survivor, Wes Nale