Max - Sultan of Television: Survivor 29: Risk, Wrath, and Rice

So, what's going down on everyone's favorite reality TV show? Being the episode right behind the merge, this one showed us a lot of directions for the future of the season. We saw a potential quitter, a couple completely taken out of the game, a rice deal, and of course, some shitty-ass game-play. The problem with this season is that as much fun as it is to watch people be stupid, when there's no smarts to balance it out, things can get dull. What made season 28 so much fun to watch was that for every shitty move, there was a smart one to counter it. Every time Jeremiah tried to be strategic, there was Tony or Spencer to save everything. On the current season however, the top strategic players (Josh, Jeremy, Natalie, Jon... I guess) still suck! I really hope that post-merge, people begin to show their true colors and play the goddamn game.

So, starting off on the latest episode, we have the heavily hyped up rice deal. Jeff, ever the showman, comes striding down the Hunahpu camp with a bag of rice slung over his shoulder. He first makes sure to properly ridicule the tribe for how much of a disaster they are before offering up a deal. And, although it may have seemed at first like a deal with the devil, it turned more into a deal with a very reasonable - if a little dick-ish - angel. Jeff basically told them that if they gave up all of their rewards and non-necessities, they could have all the rice they want.
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Really? That's it? Just give up some blankets? Is there a potentially game-changing aspect goin' on? Chew on this for a second. Hunahpu has burned (except they had no flint... ha) through their rice at a rapid pace, overeating the shit out of everything. But, as a result, they have won almost every challenge in the game... likely because they ate till they were full. So, the morale of the story is that since Survivor needs to have living contestants, they can't take too much away from them! For all future contestants, why not just eat all the rice and then live without pillows? If you win all the challenges, it's a totally worthy trade-off! Yikes! Let's hope people aren't perceptive enough to break the game like this. Rant over.

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Anyways, with that done, we head into the reward challenge where, yet again, Hunahpu kicks ass and gets to eat some shish-kabobs. Good for them! However, there was some significance here. After the challenge is over, Reed, the winner of the challenge, is about to send Julie to Exile Island when Natalie pipes up, saying that she'll go. I was pretty mixed on this strategy. On the one hand, Natalie immediately makes herself a target. She's obviously up to something here and the good players will notice this and be wary. On the other hand, as evidenced by what happened once she arrived at Exile, she got a clue to the idol. Was it a smart move? Only time will tell on this one. I gotta say, though I hated the twinnies at first, Natalie is actually one of the better players this season. Now, that really isn't saying much, but let's give what complements we can.

And with that, let's talk immunity challenge.
What the fuck? How do you screw something up that bad? The puzzle wasn't even that hard... and more importantly... you guys had like 45 extra minutes to solve it! Coyopa is so fucking bad at challenges. I don't know if it's the lack of rice gorging or what, but they just suuuck.

Right off the bat, we see Dale begin to make a plea for his life. He goes to Jon... err Ken... and tells him that he has an idol and he will give it to him for not voting him out tonight. Ken consults with Barbie, asking what she thinks about the deal. She's not too sure, but Ken wants to trust him.
Gee - Ken is stupid.

In all of Survivor history, a deal like this has never gone through (please correct me if I'm wrong). So, why, when Dale can totally just go back on his promise or when the idol can be totally fake or when any number of other reasons can come into play, would you go along with this deal? Now, I can forgive Ken a little more because in the end he didn't take it... but still - even considering it made him look like a dummy. Speaking of dummies, lets talk about the most lovable of them all: Keith!
About three hours until tribal council, where Jon, Jaclyn, Missy, and Baylor are discussing whether to get rid of Dale or Keith, Keith asks whether or not it's a good idea to take a nap. Now, don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy Keith. He talks about fishing, he talks about sleeping, he talks about not spooning, but what he does not talk about, is strategy. The man takes a goddamn nap instead of talking to the people that very narrowly vote him out! Good thing he's got this idol in the pocket or Keith would be reaallly screwed when it's actually his time to go. Although, if he keeps taking naps, perhaps he'll never even see the writing on the wall. Oy.