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THE FIRST ANNUAL VASSAL AWARDS! |
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It's no secret that a guy who titles himself the "Sultan of Television," is just a wee bit immodest. However, the major reason for me having such a deluxe title is because of the art form that I support so much: Television. However, TV's big brother, film, is actually more celebrated in the real world! The biggest awards show of the year, the infamous Academy Awards or "Oscars," is just around the corner, celebrating the very best films of 2014. Of course, being the stickler that I am, I am always outraged at the films who are awarded Oscars on the grandest stage of them all. Thus, I have decided to make my own version of the Oscars. And, just as I am the feudalistic Sultan to Television, I believe that since movies come second to TV, following feudalism, they should be vassals
So, without further adieu, let's get to the nominees!!!
Best Picture
Whiplash
Boyhood
Nightcrawler
Birdman
Foxcatcher
The Drop
Gone Girl
American Sniper
Best Lead Male Actor
Benedict Cumberbatch - Alan Turing - Imitation Game
David Oyelowo - Martin Luther King Jr. - Selma
Michael Keaton - Riggan Thompson - Birdman
Bradley Cooper - Chris Kyle - American Sniper
Jake Gyllenhaal - Lou Bloom - Nightcrawler
Steve Carell - John du Pont - Foxcatcher
Best Supporting Male Actor
Edward Norton - Mike Shiner - Birdman
J.K. Simmons - Terrance Fletcher - Whiplash
Mark Ruffalo - Dave Schultz - Foxcatcher
James Gandolfini - Cousin Marv - The Drop
Ethan Hawke - Mason Evans Sr. - Boyhood
Best Lead Female Actor
Patricia Arquette - Olivia Evans - Boyhood
Rosamund Pike - The Gone Girl - Gone Girl
Julianne Moore- I’m Assuming Alice - Still Alice
Reese Witherspoon - Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Jessica Chastain - Anna Morales - A Most Violent Year
Best Supporting Female Actor
Keira Knightley - Joan Clarke - Imitation Game
Carrie Coon - Margo Dunne - Gone Girl
Tilda Swinton - Mason - Snowpiercer
Emma Stone - Sam Thompson - Birdman
Katherine Waterston - Shasta Fay Hepworth - Inherent Vice
Noomi Rapace - Nadia - The Drop
Best… uhm… Person… That Must Go to Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep - Into the Woods
Meryl Streep - The Homesman
Meryl Streep - The Giver
Meryl Streep - Sophie’s Choice
Meryl Streep - That movie from the 80’s where her head fell off with Goldie Hawn
Best Director
Ava DuVernay - Selma
Richard Linklater - Boyhood
Bennett Miller - Foxcatcher
David Fincher - Gone Girl
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - Birdman
Damien Chazelle - Whiplash
Bong Joon-Ho - Snowpiercer
Clint Eastwood - American Sniper
Best Screenplay
Paul Thomas Anderson - Inherent Vice
Damien Chazelle - Whiplash
Alexander Dinelaris, Nicolas Giacobone, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, and Armando Bo - Birdman
Gillian Flynn - Gone Girl
Dennis Lehane - The Drop
Dan Gilroy - Nightcrawler
Best Cinematography
Jeff Cronenweth - Gone Girl
Hong Kyung-pyo - Snowpiercer
Robert Elswit - Nightcrawler
Emmanuel Lubezki - Birdman
Greig Fraser - Foxcatcher
Best Music
Justin Hurwitz - Whiplash
Antonio Sanchez - Birdman
Hans Zimmer - Interstellar
Trent Reznor - Gone Girl
Jonny Greenwood - Inherent Vice
Worst Male Actor
Johnny Depp - Transcendence
Johnny Depp - Mortdecai
Tom Cruise - Oblivion
Tom Cruise’s Clone - Oblivion
Keanu Reeves - John Wick
Optimus Prime - Transformers: Age of Extinction
Nicolas Cage - Rage
Adam Sandler - Blended
Worst Female Actor
Melissa McCarthy - Tammy
Cameron Diaz - Sex Tape
Drew Barrymore - Blended
Kate Winslet - Labor Day
Worst Picture
Tammy
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Labor Day
Ride Along
Transcendence
Labels: A Most Violent Year, American Sniper, Birdman, Boyhood, Foxcatcher, Gone Girl, Inherent Vice, Nightcrawler, Selma, Snowpiercer, Still Alice, The Drop, The Imitation Game, The Oscars, The Vassals, Whiplash, Wild