The 2014 Vassal Awards Winners Announcement!

Here we go...

This is a very important post! Not only is this the official 50th Max - Sultan of Television post, but it is also the first annual Vassal Award Ceremony! Much as I think Television constantly outclasses the movies, 2014 was quite a year for film. With some fantastic performances from a variety of actors that should just come to TV already as well as a number of impressive movies, film made a real statement this year. Perhaps it isn't quite on par with Breaking Bad, Sopranos, The Wire, Mad Men, Deadwood, Rome, Carnivale etc, but film is still relevant in today's media. Maybe the output of good movies is a little slimmer than it once was, but in the October, November, and December months, there's still enough good content coming out in the theater to warrant an awards show.

So, without further adieu, let the first Vassal Awards commence! They will be presented by none other than the Sultan of Television himself: Max Benowitz.



Best Picture
  1. Whiplash
  2. Boyhood
  3. Nightcrawler
  4. Birdman
  5. Foxcatcher
  6. The Drop
  7. Gone Girl
  8. American Sniper

I hate to sound biased, but this wasn't actually a very difficult category to pick. Birdman was so far and away the best film of the year that the competition was barely competition. It had an amazing script, fantastic performances from several different actors, and an innovative style of shooting film in which everything seemed like it was one take. Seriously, Birdman just may have been the best movie in the last ten or fifteen years. I've already seen it twice and was more blown away after a second viewing. Though the other nominees were good, none of the were truly great the way Birdman was.



Best Lead Male Actor
  1. Benedict Cumberbatch - Alan Turing - Imitation Game
  2. David Oyelowo - Martin Luther King Jr. - Selma
  3. Michael Keaton - Riggan Thompson - Birdman
  4. Bradley Cooper - Chris Kyle - American Sniper
  5. Jake Gyllenhaal - Lou Bloom - Nightcrawler
  6. Steve Carell - John du Pont - Foxcatcher

This was a hotly contested category. My gut reaction to the winner was Michael Keaton, just because of my obsession with Birdman. However, after thinking about it some more, as great as Keaton was, he didn't quite have the transformative performance of Jake Gyllenhaal. Hell, Gyllenhaal lost thirty pounds for the role, taking his usual good looks and turning them into creepiness. His acting in Nightcrawler was fascinating; his slimy, psychotic Lou Bloom came to life beautifully as he drove incredibly fast around the dark and dirtied Los Angeles night-scape. The script helped him, but what made this movie memorable were those intense, almost laughably terrifying monologues on how to be a good businessman, what exactly Lou wants out of a deal, and what his strengths and weaknesses are. Good as the other nominees were, Gyllenhaal takes this one home.



Best Supporting Male Actor
  1. Edward Norton - Mike Shiner - Birdman
  2. J.K. Simmons - Terrance Fletcher - Whiplash
  3. Mark Ruffalo - Dave Schultz - Foxcatcher
  4. James Gandolfini - Cousin Marv - The Drop
  5. Ethan Hawke - Mason Evans Sr. - Boyhood

God damn. It's been a long road for J.K. Simmons. I've loved him ever since Vern Schillinger set foot in Oz, creating the only white supremacist I've ever loved watching. From rape, mind games, and musical numbers, Simmons made one of the most memorable villains of all time. However, after Oz ended, Simmons delved far into comedy. Though he was still entertaining as hell, Simmons was utilized as a goofy Dad far too often. However, in Whiplash, Simmons was able to return to the dark side. As Terrance Fletcher, the gleefully abusive music teacher, Simmons thrives. I've never seen someone have as many quotable lines in a movie as this guy. Just for interest's sake, his chief competition was probably Edward Norton and James Gandolfini. Both of their characters were very well-portrayed and seeing Gandolfini's last ever performance was quite bittersweet. In the end though, J.K. Simmons was an unstoppable force.



Best Lead Female Actor
  1. Patricia Arquette - Olivia Evans - Boyhood
  2. Rosamund Pike - The Gone Girl - Gone Girl
  3. Julianne Moore- I’m Assuming Alice - Still Alice
  4. Reese Witherspoon - Cheryl Strayed - Wild
  5. Jessica Chastain - Anna Morales - A Most Violent Year

I've never seen Rosamund Pike before - at least in a role memorable enough for me to recognize the name. However, in David Fincher's Gone Girl, she really knocked it out of the park. As the Gone Girl herself, Amy Dunne, Rosamund Pike played a beautiful, mentally broken woman who wants to cause an uproar but just doesn't know how. She wants to be a "cool girl," but after marriage, just doesn't seem to know how to go about life. However, once she stages her own death, Pike begins to unravel more and more, becoming willing to kill, willing to fake identity, and willing to frame those that she loves most for the troubles in her wake. As both a new face to the big screen and a performance outclassing her older peers, Pike receives the Vassal.



Best Supporting Female Actor
  1. Keira Knightley - Joan Clarke - Imitation Game
  2. Carrie Coon - Margo Dunne - Gone Girl
  3. Tilda Swinton - Mason - Snowpiercer
  4. Emma Stone - Sam Thompson - Birdman
  5. Katherine Waterston - Shasta Fay Hepworth - Inherent Vice
  6. Noomi Rapace - Nadia - The Drop

Another difficult one to pick. Carrie Coon gave us memorable supportive sister (not an easy role to make memorable), Tilda Swinton a psychotic train overseer, Waterston the physical incarnation of heroin, and Noomi Rapace a seemingly normal girl who becomes more and more mysterious as time goes on. Even Keira Knightley, someone I don't generally like, delivered a nice performance as the genius "wife" of Alan Turing. However, Emma Stone barely steals the award. As the spoiled, drug-addicted daughter of Michael Keaton's Riggan Thompson, Stone oozes hypocracy while still managing to be sympathetic. Now I admit, I have a crush on Emma Stone, but I don't think this is bias speaking. Stone truly delivered an impressive performance in an impressive movie.

Best… uhm… Person… That Must Go to Meryl Streep
  1. Meryl Streep - Into the Woods
  2. Meryl Streep - The Homesman
  3. Meryl Streep - The Giver
  4. Meryl Streep - Sophie’s Choice
  5. Meryl Streep - That movie from the 80’s where her head fell off with Goldie Hawn

One of the key facets of The Oscars is honoring their favorite person in the whole entire world: Meryl Streep. Thus, I figured I'd just make her a category, since we all know The Academy wants one anyway. To stay one step ahead of them, I created the Meryl Streep award so that rest assured, Streep will ALWAYS receive an award every year. I have now appeased the Gods of Film. 



Best Director
  1. Ava DuVernay - Selma
  2. Richard Linklater - Boyhood
  3. Bennett Miller - Foxcatcher
  4. David Fincher - Gone Girl
  5. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - Birdman
  6. Damien Chazelle - Whiplash
  7. Bong Joon-Ho - Snowpiercer
  8. Clint Eastwood - American Sniper

I really hate to keep laying on the Birdman love, but when a movie is just the best, it's the best and that's all there is to it. The directing for this film was like nothing I've ever seen. Made to look like one long tracking shot, Birdman covered three days in a fluid manner that highlighted everything important and managed to make the audience feel like they were right there alongside Keaton and the cast. Though the performances and writing were amazing, the directing on this movie stuck it all together in a breathtaking fashion. In terms of competition, I'd like to mention Selma's bridge protest scene, Snowpiercer's numerous battle scenes, and Foxcatcher's cold isolated feel throughout the film.


Best Screenplay
  1. Paul Thomas Anderson - Inherent Vice
  2. Damien Chazelle - Whiplash
  3. Alexander Dinelaris, Nicolas Giacobone, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, and Armando Bo - Birdman
  4. Gillian Flynn - Gone Girl
  5. Dennis Lehane - The Drop
  6. Dan Gilroy - Nightcrawler

How did we end up here? This place is terrible. Smells like balls. These are the words that continuously go through my head after having seen Birdman. Funny, smart, and dramatic all at the same time. Beautiful exposition contained within one scene and line. In just about two hours, the writing on Birdman gave us fascinating characters, satirical themes, and compelling plot. The acting performances are quite limited by the quality of writing, and the fact that the performances were so memorable really speaks to the screenplay. Yes, Gone Girl was very intelligently written and Inherent Vice had a herculean task of adapting a Pynchon novel into a script, but neither succeeded in every facet the way Birdman did.


Best Cinematography
  1. Jeff Cronenweth - Gone Girl
  2. Hong Kyung-pyo - Snowpiercer
  3. Robert Elswit - Nightcrawler
  4. Emmanuel Lubezki - Birdman
  5. Greig Fraser - Foxcatcher

Foxcatcher was one of the more depressing movies I've seen. It told a tale of isolation, desolation, and sadness. The grand Du Pont Foxcatcher estate was less of a leviathan proud structure and more along the lines of Arkham Asylum due to the cinematography. The way everything was a dull gray, green, or white spoke volumes of Greig Fraser. The whole movie gave an essence of isolation, as if the viewers were just as lost as the characters. Even the golden statues inside the mansion were faded as if some long forgotten storm had washed away all of the happiness that was once within them. For this, it outclasses the competition of our 2014 favorite, Birdman.

Best Music
  1. Justin Hurwitz - Whiplash
  2. Antonio Sanchez - Birdman
  3. Hans Zimmer - Interstellar
  4. Trent Reznor - Gone Girl
  5. Jonny Greenwood - Inherent Vice

Whiplash was a story about music. One that had as much to do with music as it did with the story that revolved around it. Thus, it should be no shocker that it wins the music award with the fantastic drum-beats, performances of "Caravan" and "Whiplash," and the numerous times that the crisp, clear, sound of jazz accompanied the film. The only real competition here was the sweeping Hans Zimmer soundtrack on the otherwise shitty Interstellar and the awesomely intense percussion on Birdman. In the end though, the movie about music swept this category. 


OVERALL

4 Wins for Birdman
2 Wins for Whiplash
1 Win for Nightcrawler
1 Win for Gone Girl

And now, onto the fun ones...



Worst Male Actor
  1. Johnny Depp - Transcendence
  2. Johnny Depp - Mortdecai
  3. Tom Cruise - Oblivion
  4. Tom Cruise’s Clone - Oblivion
  5. Keanu Reeves - John Wick
  6. Optimus Prime - Transformers: Age of Extinction
  7. Nicolas Cage - Rage
  8. Adam Sandler - Blended

Okay, look - I know that some of these aren't from 2014, but the winner is! Also, Tom Cruise and his clone really need to be brought up in this category like... every year. In the end though, the most overrated man in Hollywood will take it home: Mr. Johnny Depp for his scarily bad performance in the awful sci-fi movie: Transcendence. Boy, what happened to Depp? He used to be so cool back when he was Edward Scissorhands and Jack Sparrow for the first time. Now look at him. Fucking Mortdecai. How did we ever like this guy?


Worst Female Actor
  1. Melissa McCarthy - Tammy
  2. Cameron Diaz - Sex Tape
  3. Drew Barrymore - Blended
  4. Kate Winslet - Labor Day

Another toughie. Cameron Diaz is old reliable in this situation though. She's just so pathetically terrible in everything that turning in a "worst actress" award is commonplace. Thus, ol' faithful is gonna take it home as once again, she tries to play a hot girl as an alien-looking plastic surgery behemoth without comedic timing. Was that harsh? Sorry, Cameron.

Worst Picture

  1. Tammy
  2. Transformers: Age of Extinction
  3. Labor Day
  4. Ride Along
  5. Transcendence

Just watch the fucking trailer for this thing. Honestly, it's the most ridiculous looking movie... and that's before you watch it. Not even quality actors like Josh Brolin, Kate Winslet, and J.K. Simmons could save it! In fact, despite her usual strength, Winslet even earned herself a worst actress nom! From dialogue to themes to twists to basically everything else that could be wrong with a movie, Labor Day has it all. It is truly the worst picture of 2014.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,