Game of Thrones: A Slow Burn

Who needs Lord of the Rings anyway?
 "You probably think that staying sober keeps you on top of your game. Well, guess what. I work hard AND I play hard, bitch. That's my credo. I got that shit tattooed on my dick with room to spare." - Jonah Ryan, Veep, S02E06




Dear God and Black Jesus - THERE'S SO MUCH TV ON! AAAAH!
Sunday night is a struggle in a pool of clear water now. Game of Thrones, Veep, Silicon Valley. Last Week Tonight, and Mad Men? Survivor on Wednesday? Plus Turn on Mondays and Louie and The Comedians on Thursday? And, to top it all off, Daredevil just came on Netflix? That's nine weekly shows and one extra? It's a packed but exciting schedule.
Today though, as we prepare ourselves for the series finale of Justified, (that's right, SERIES finale,) let's talk about the best fantasy show on television: HBO's Game of Thrones.

Coming back in on Sunday, we got a snapshot of where several of our characters are. While there was a lack of the two youngest Stark children in the premiere, it was only Arya's absence that made me sad. Overall, the premiere, titled "The Wars to Come," stood by its title. The episode didn't rock our worlds in any particular way, but rather set us up for the conflicts sure to arise in the near future.

Who needs balls?
The first character covered in the newest addition of Game of Thrones was the fan favorite and de facto main character, Tyrion. Where we last saw him, Tyrion had just murdered his girlfriend/whore, and then shot his father, Tywin, in the chest with a crossbow. Then, miraculously, he escaped King's Landing with Lord Varys. Picking up in season five, Tyrion is a cynic. He's been sleeping in his own shit, drinking constantly, and isn't quite pleased with his life situation. His solution? Drink more. However, Varys isn't going to rescue him just to see a drunk get drunker. He informs Tyrion that he was saved for a reason. Neither Varys nor Tyrion will ever take the Iron Throne. Both of them know this. However, the one thing that they share in common is that they want what is best for the realm. A Eunic and a Dwarf will never hold the ultimate power, but with their combined brains, they can hold influence over the future. Thus, their quest becomes simple: find Daenarys Targaryan and put her on the throne. Baratheons, Lannisters, and Starks are done. It's time for a Targaryan restoration.
I liked this plot development. First of all, the alliance of Varys and Tyrion is expert. The two have both been the smartest people in the room in almost every situation, and unlike Little Finger, the other smartest man in the show, they are selfless (to an extent). Varys has reached the extent of his possible power, and Tyrion has just lost all the power he once had. Now, all they have left to do is restore a loved leader to the Iron Throne.

Mayor Thomas "Little Finger' Carcetti
Speaking of Little Finger, let's talk about my personal favorite character! Petyr Baelish, played expertly by The Wire's Aiden Gillen, may just be the most intelligent man in the seven kingdoms. As a lowborn commoner, Baelish orchestrated his rise to power all by himself. The only thing standing in his way was his love for Catelyn Stark. Once she was slain, there was nothing to make Baelish care even the slightest about anyone but himself. In the last seasons, Baelish went from being the Master of Coin in King's Landing to the Lord of the Vale, married to Sansa Stark, and ready to make a power grab once his calculations pay off.
To say the least, Baelish is playing the game on another level. Unlike Stannis or Roose or Daenarys or the Lannisters, Baelish's army is himself. He takes what he wants by manipulation, not by force. When he needs to kill he'll kill, but for the most part, he's usurped power with nothing but words and lies. Thus, even the small glimpse we get of him in the premiere is enough to make us want more. Wherever the master plan of Little Finger leads, I'll be watching, waiting for House Baelish to be the imperial house of Westeros.

Hopefully Margaery doesn't end up like
Anne Boleyn.
On the topic of imperial house of Westeros, let's talk some Lannister Tyrell action! Our season five premiere begins with a haunting flashback of Circe talking to a fortune-telling Witch. She is told that she will have three children with "Gold Crowns," but she will never be the fairest of them all. No, that award will go to our resident Snow White, only an alternate of Snow White who is just as manipulative and politically minded as the Wicked Witch, Circe, herself. Margaery Tyrell is another of my very favorite characters from the show. Now, I have an inherent bias from having a crush on Natalie Dormer, and believing her to be one of the greatest parts of The Tudors, but I truly do like the character of Margaery. Using her looks and her brain, Margaery has risen to be Queen of King's Landing. Guess who doesn't like that? Circe Lannister. The two of them are now in a power struggle of their own, warring for the affections of the young Tommen Baratheon. The two most deceptive women in Westeros will now duke it out in the most passive aggressive manner we've ever seen. Neither can kill the other, but damned if they don't want to. This'll be another plot to watch as the season develops.

Why can't you just be King, Davos?
Also in our opening episode, we see the events of Castle Black. Up there, Stannis, Davos (my other favorite character), and Melisandre are taking residence until they march on House Bolton. Stannis's plan is to get Jon Snow to convince Mance Rayder to bend a knee and help Stannis take back the North in return for residence there once the war is over. However, Mace will not be so easily swayed, and instead of bending a knee, takes an arrow to the heart and a fire to his body.
I've long been a hater when it comes to Jon Snow. The events happening around him are almost always exciting, but as a character, they don't get much more wooden. However, having the dynamic duo of Stannis and Davos around (and as much as I hate to admit it, Melisandre,) has livened things up. Suddenly, there's a dire feeling to Castle Black. Not only is there the White Walkers, but now a fullscale Northern assault between the last Baratheon and the Boltons is coming. I love each and every brother of the Baratheon clan, and am obviously rooting for at least one of them to do well. Even if Stannis is my least favorite of the three, I'm all in for House Baratheon.
So long as the Northern plotline stays away from Jon's love life and focuses on Stannis, Davos, Roose, Theon, and Ramsay, this should make for exciting television.

Come back, Jorah! We miss you!
And, finally, we have the Queen of Dragons herself, Daenarys. She's having trouble ruling Mereen again. A band of rebels called the Sons of the Harpy are killing Daenarys's unsullied warriors, and the people want to reestablish fighting pits and other longstanding traditions that the Queen shut down. Uhg. While I'm a Danny fan, and I do think she'd make a good queen of Westeros, her rise to power in the north really can't come fast enough. Watching Daenarys hang out in Mereen and rule over a reformed slave city isn't the most riveting TV. And, to top it off, with Daario being her chief adviser instead of Jorah Mormont, I'm more annoyed at her than pleased.
To contrast though, Daenarys letting her dragons out of their underground barrow is nice to see. Hopefully the Harpy will be burned alive by the dragon, but sooner rather than later.

And now, before we go, let's power rank the ten best characters of Game of Thrones! Who's the most compelling, the smartest, or the most badass? As we look ahead to the next nine weeks of epic fantasy drama, who're the best people to watch out for?

10. Ramsay Snow - unpredictable as hell! He could just as easily murder Roose and take power for himself as he could flop sides, be killed off, or be a threatening second-in-command!
9. Jorah Mormont - Where will he go? Turn heel or stay face? Jorah could easily find himself in a new location or right back serving Danny. We're all rooting for him, but will he find redemption?
8. Lord Varys - We finally know his direction! Varys and Tyrion are off to induct a new era into Westeros - an old regime of Targaryans. However, the ever smart Varys can always change motives as easily as he starts them.
7. Circe Lannister - The Jessica Lange of Game of Thrones, we know exactly what Circe wants, but the question is, how ruthless and how much like Tywin is she? If Circe is really fit to mirco-rule King's Landing, she's going to get dangerous.
6. Daenarys Targaryan - The predicted Queen of Westeros is always compelling, but her exasperating rule of Mereen is holding her back a bit. If she can get some draconic action, some contact with Tyrion, and some re-connection with Jorah, she'll skyrocket up the list.
5. Arya Stark - Where will the Littlest Rebel go from here? Now that she's in Braavos, we're going to see Arya's rise from badass to Jules Winfield. I doubt she'll have a huge impact on the show just yet, but boy are things on the rise for this Stark.
4. Margaery Tyrell - The most attractive woman of Game of Thrones and most behind-the-scenes manipulator makes it to number four. The internal war of femininity in King's Landing is just beginning, and right now, Margaery seems to be winning.
3. Stannis Baratheon - The "Rightful King of Westeros" finally has some real direction. If he is able to win the war against the Boltons and take the North, Stannis has the best shot at claiming the Iron Throne. However, Melisandre's crazy cult may be holding him back.
2. Tyrion Lannister - Tyrion is out of King's Landing and ready to fight for the realm. Now without as much self-interest or ambition, Tyrion is on the side of the realm. Whether he sticks to these newfound guns or not will be a major plotpoint of season five.
1. Petyr "Little Finger" Baelish - I've said it once, and I'll say it again, Lord Baelish is playing the game on another level. He is going for it all, which could just be his downfall, but if he continues playing on the level he has been, Baelish will be the Lord of Westeros.

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