Survivor: Review and Return

In with the new, out with the old! Here we go!
 "So harping now is a hardship on the same fucking order of a boot on your neck? Do not fucking fault them, Trixie, for your own fucking fears of tumbling to something new." - Al Swearengen, Deadwood, S02E07




Well, Survivor 30: Worlds Apart has officially come to a close, and Survivor 31: Second Chance has its cast officially announced. All in all, the three hour long finale delivered quite well, and even despite the last of Shane Powers on the new season, the next cast still looks fantastic.

Before we get onto 31, let's start with the actual finale.

Tough night. No win, no second chance.
Heading into the finale, there seemed to be only two real options as to who the winner would be: Mike or Carolyn. If Mike was able to keep up the immunity wins, he won. If he lost, Carolyn would have booted him and won the game (though according to Rodney, Rodney would have won against either had he made the final tribal.) Thus, when both of them reached the finals, it was an added level of excitement as to who would come out the victor. Add that to the fact that Rod cast his vote for Will due to his "keeping it real," and the final tribal was actually kind of unpredictable, despite the most obvious pick still pulling it out in the end.

Sierra was first out of the five. After Mike won yet again with a nice challenge advantage earned in the reward, it was between Sierra and Rodney. Obviously, no one wanted to boot Will for his goat-ness, and Mike confirmed he would not vote out Carolyn due to her deserving to be there. To me, this felt like a hero's folly at first. Taking a look back at season two, when Colby brought Tina to the finals to seem like a good guy, only to be beaten by the motherly figure, Mike's decision was called into question. Though a more extreme example, Woo's taking of Tony to the finals over Kass also could be thought of. Luckily for Mike, he was well-liked enough to end up winning anyway, but he certainly paved a harder path by keeping Carolyn around.
Anyway, Mike must choose between Rod and Sierra. He chose correctly. Basically, if he lost the final immunity, he would be going home. Since Sierra had a better shot of edging him out here, it was quite a good idea for her to be booted. Even Carolyn jumped on this bandwagon, and in the end, the tall cowgirl was awarded fifth place. Mike's win was only moments away. He just had to win one challenge. Could he do it?

Yes. Yes he could.

Next, it was between Carolyn and Rodney. Either Mike makes a fire making challenge happen, or he just cut off Carolyn. He chose the first, bringing us to a 45 minute, Sundra and Becky type firemaking challenge. Luckily, they never went to matches, but after a long time, both Carolyn and Rod had a simultaneous fire going, leading to a rather dramatic conclusion. In the end, it was Carolyn who was able to beat the Bostonian. Before we finish with Rodney though, I'd like to just acknowledge some of his quotes throughout the season. I never thought in the pre-season that a guy like Rod would be one of my favorites from this season. Also, if any of you haven't, check out Rod's impressions on twitter. They're truly impressive.

"I ain't kissin no man's ass, bro."
"You betta RELAX bro!"
"We're like chicken parm and tuna fish. It just don't taste good."
"Protototypical."
"It's my DAMN birthday bro!"
"He's goin to church, we're having sunday fun day!"
"We're both about girls, we're both about not settlin' down, we're both about paatyin'"

- Rodney Lavoie Jr.

Anyway, we finally come down to the final three: Carolyn, the strategist who could potentially win, Mike, the physically dominant beast who was a bit lackluster at the social aspect, and Will, the... um... guy who kept it the most real? It's almost again like the Cook Islands finals, with Carolyn being Yul, Mike being Ozzy, and Will being Becky. Only this time physicality is honored. At the final tribal council, we are graced with some terrible questions, as well as some entertaining speeches.

Joe comes up and says his vote is up for grabs. He proceeds to sit down.
Hali asks a rather drab question.
Rodney asks Will how he kept it real, and then votes for him because he kept it real. Thanks Rod.
Sierra tells Carolyn she played a kickass game, and makes it pretty clear who she'll be voting for.
Tyler asks Carolyn why she voted him out, and despite her answer making a lot of sense from a personal and strategic standpoint, he still gives Mike the vote.

Finally, we got into some interesting stuff.

Jenn comes up and pulls what Rob Cesternino would call a "half Murphy." Essentially, she tells the jury to stop being so bitter and just vote for Mike. He played the best game. God, despite Jenn essentially quitting the game, it's such a shame she can't come back. Her take-no-shit attitude and her jokes will be sorely missed on returnee seasons flooded with gamebots.
Time for the happy dance!
Dan saunters over to lambaste Mike for being untrustworthy. However, once Mike sounds sincere in his apology, Dan runs back up to say that Mike had finally said something sincere, and that perhaps he had earned a vote. Once again, it seemed that Dan was just playing to the cameras. We'll get to Dan and the cameras pretty soon though.
Finally, Shirin comes in to close things off with a display of exactly what Jenn said was bad: bitterness. It almost seems like Shirin had three seperate speeches at the ready, and decided to go with them all. She first praises Mike on his ability to help her escape the wrath of Will, and after mentioning that she made a million dollars at 25, says that Mike's actions don't necessarily guarantee a vote. Way to make yourself a target on season 31, Shirin. Next, she tries to pull a Sue Hawk, and compare the contestants to animals, calling Mike a howler monkey (a bit too soon after the monkey sex incident,) call Carolyn a sting ray, and call Will a dead fish. Even as an anti-Shirin critic, I gotta say that cracked me up. After all the craziness though, Shirin votes for Mike.

Upon news of his victory, Mike does the happy dance, and cements himself as one of the better winners in recent memory. Though not quite as impressive as a Chris Daugherty win since Mike's social game was less adept, I would still probably give Mike a top ten to fifteen winner spot. Also, he now ranks with Ozzy, Terry, Tom, and Colby with people who have won 5 individual immunity challenges in a single season. Mr. Holloway, I hope we see you again on some type of All Winners, Heroes vs. Villains, or All Stars season.

And now, with season 30 behind us, let's talk a little season 31, shall we?

Overall, as I stated above, I was quite happy with the picks. Some of my favorites like Keith, Jeff, Peih-Gee, Kass, and Stephen made it on, while I'll miss Shane, T-Bird, Troyzan, and Natalie Tenerelli.

Without further adieu, I will now unveil my power rankings for the cast of season 31. This is not a predicted boot order, but the likelihood of winning.

Please prove me wrong, Kass.
20. Kass McQuillen - Look, I love Kass. She is fantastic television, helped make Cagayan as great as it was, and will hopefully, if she makes it far enough this season, make for more dynamic viewing. However, with a poor social game and a bad reputation (of which she doesn't give a damn about,) Kass probably has no shot of coming out the winner.
19. Andrew Savage - Savage is older, less physical, and can be a bit bossy. I don't dislike the guy, but I could certainly see him getting on other alpha male's nerves, not being able to excel physically as he once did, and perhaps burn out a bit early.
18. Woo Hwang - I really enjoyed Woo on Cagayan, but he literally gave away a million dollars to Tony. Even if he makes the finals again, Woo is simply too nice to win this game.
17. Kimmi Kappenberg - I just don't see her making the finals. She won't excel physically, she may suffer from having not played in so long, and if Jeff still holds a grudge, it could make for bad fortune for Kimmi.
16. Shirin Oskooi - Not only will she probably do badly physically, but she may geek out so much over the old players that she annoys people, leading to her boot. Plus, she's said on live television in front of her fellow contestants that she made a million at 25.
15. Abi-Maria Gomes - Much like Kass, I just don't think Abi has the social ability to make it to the end as anything but a goat. However, due to having played less recently and being young and perhaps charming (at least to Pete Yurkowski,) she stands a slightly better chance.
14. Joe Anglim - He's simply too big a threat. Much like on Worlds Apart, someone like Terry or Spencer or Savage is far too likely to bring him down for his challenge skills at the merge. Add that to the fact that the guy is extremely handsome and likable, and you have someone who will just never make it to the end without a nine challenge streak.
13. Kelly Wiglesworth - She has outwardly stated that she doesn't intend to be strategic, making her at a major disadvantage already. However, she is strong in challenges, and her rep from season one may help her with a jury vote.
12. Spencer Bledsoe - He is a threat to all those who follow social media, as well as being pretty good at challenges. If a guy like Stephen is smart, this fan favorite will be cut pre-merge.
11. Ciera Eastin - Despite not really being a villain for voting out her mother, since her mother was totally going out anyway, Ciera has a bad rep as someone who is ruthless as a result of that reputation. She will likely have a hard time making alliances, and therefor getting to the end.
10. Terry Deitz - Another challenge beast and likable guy, the only thing saving Terry is that now that he's older, he may be seen as less of a threat. If he's able to be more strategic and less outwardly threatening, Terry could make it deep in this game.
9. Stephen Fishbach - I love Stephen, but being the Survivor Know-It-All is going to work against him. He's a fantastic strategist and player, but he may simply be too connected to not be voted out early.
8. Vytas Baskauskas - Vytas will have a tough time as a result of being seen as a threat once the merge happens. He's good socially, he's good physically, and he seems to have allies on the cast due to familiar connections through Aras. That being said, all of these could also make him an under the radar winner quite easily. Being good but not great is an advantage in this game.
7. Monica Padilla - Monica was stopped by Russell in her first season. Without a guy like him here, she has a much more sure shot to the end. However, she needs to pull out some moves in order to get there and win. If she's got it in her, she could really pull it out. If not, another pretty face.
6. Jeremy Collins - Jeremy is a strategist extraordinaire with a super fun personality. He's not alpha male enough to be immediately targeted like Terry or Savage, he's not strategy gamebot enough to be immediately targeted like Spencer or Stephen, and he knows the game well enough to drag some easy goats like Woo to the end. If he avoids blindside, I could see Jeremy winning this thing.
5. Kelley Wentworth - This may be too high, but Kelley really does know the game, despite her performance on 29. She could fly under the radar and then make a couple big moves to win this thing at final five or six.
Could this be our next winner?
4. Jeff Varner - I really enjoy Jeff Varner. His campaign was amazing, his original performance in Australia is impressively strategic for the time, and his personality is super fun. I'm team Varner all the way! He could really be a mastermind behind the scenes and control this game.
3. Peih-Gee Law - PG was fantastic in season 15. She's strategic, she's fun to hear from, and with more age and wisdom, she could really kick this game's ass. However, she could just as easily be pre-merge. I'd go as far as to say that if PG makes the merge, she's our winner.
2. Tasha Fox - Tasha is almost a complete package. She's strategic, physical, and respectable of a contestant. She will likely be targeted second or third in an alliance, letting her fly more under the radar, and should she make it far without other big challenge threats, could run to the end for a win.
1. Keith Nale - I am a Nale Male. I am high on Keith. And, he's the exact endgame threat that All Star seasons generally see win. He's such a nice guy, he's good at challenges, and he may just be that guy at the end that nobody is pissed at. Plus, in a season full of gamebots, how hilarious would it be to see Keith take it home?

Well, that's it for my Survivor: Worlds Apart coverage, but over the Summer I may do some Survivor lists of rankings, such as best winners, seasons, or overall players. Either way, I'll be back to dive into Season 31 in the fall! Thanks for reading!

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