Max - Sultan of Television: The Top Fifty Television Villains of All Time: Part Five

"It was the Romans, wasn't it?"
"What are you saying?"
"St. Lawrence, your window, Romans burned him alive."
"They did."
"You know why?"
"Cause he was Christian."
"Maybe. But I think it was because the Romans were raised by wolves. The greatest empire in human history, founded by wolves. You know what wolves do. They hunt. They kill. It's why I never bought into the jungle book. Boy is raised by wolves and becomes friends with a bear and panther. I don't think so. I knew a guy once, had a hundred and ten pound Rottweiler, and one night this girl thought it would be funny to get down on all fours and let the dog hump her. Dog still had its balls. Well the dog gets up there, but he's not in on the joke. This is just a bitch in heat as far as he's concerned. He's not leaving til he gets what he came for. Well the girl, too late, realizes the kind of mistake she's made. She wants to get up. But the dog had other ideas. Had to shoot it behind the ear to get it off of her."
"I don't uh... I don't..."
"Well I'm saying that the Romans raised by wolves, they see a guy turning water into wine, what do they do. They eat him. Cause there are no saints in the animal kingdom. Only breakfast and dinner." - Lorne Malvo

This is one of the write-ups I most looked forward to doing. In terms of sheer enjoyment, I would have to put Lorne Malvo in the top two or three. Though he's only in ten episodes of Fargo, serving as the central antagonist of the first miniseries of the show, Lorne achieved everything a good villain should do, and then some. He was one of the men who, when finally killed off, made me more sad than a main protagonist's death. Malvo was introduced as a drifter, someone with no real background to speak of, showing up in Lester Nygaard's town like Satan, inspiring him to become a Walter White-esq villain. He offered to kill an enemy of Lester, someone who had humiliated him. And after carrying this out, opened the door for Lester to start to feel alive. Setting off the entire plot revolving around him. Meanwhile, Lorne had his own plot to worry about. He had personally pissed off the Fargo mafia, forcing him into a feud with them as well as continuing to circle around Lester's plot, an ever-present demon. Also in his inaugural episode, Lorne interacts with another of our central protagonists, Gus Grimly. He scares Gus into leaving him without a ticket, all while luring Gus to eventually conflict with him in the future. This opening episode alone established Lorne probably on this list, but his actions over the course of the season only continue his run. After a flash forward, we see Lorne Malvo having shifted his persona, moving to Las Vegas and using the punchline "Aces!" in his newly adopted life. From there, Lorne becomes back involved with our central plot, and is forced to go back into Fargo, meeting his ultimate demise there. Once again though, his demise could not have been better done. After being shot several times through the chest, Lorne awakes again, seemingly on his second life. Then, he is shot once again, finally putting him down for good. In this way, though it is never explicitly stated that Lorne is something supernatural, the idea may live on despite his death. Add this to Thornton's amazing performance, his cryptic lines, and the overall quality of Fargo, and you have a shoe-in for the top ten, almost getting into the top five.

6. Benjamin Linus
Played by: Michael Emerson
Featured on: Lost

"Those things had to happen to me. That was my destiny. But you'll understand soon enough that there are consequences to being chosen. Because destiny, John... is a fickle bitch." - Benjamin Linus

"So?" - Benjamin Linus

Benjamin Linus, or Henry Gale as he is first known, is one of the more interesting writeups in the top ten. To be honest, when I was planning this list, I wasn't one hundred percent sure that Ben would even be included, as his later actions are relatively heroic. However, for the second and third season where he was head antagonist and for the time in seasons five and six where he was in a shade of gray, I believe that Ben deserves a spot... and what a spot he deserves! A lot of people will give the later seasons of Lost a lot of criticisms, And, while some of those may be valid, any complaints about Ben should be nullified. He single-handedly kept the show exciting multiple times. His ambiguity about sides, his borderline-psyco mentality when it came to those he viewed as pawns, or his cryptic dialogue kept viewers guessing exactly where he stood or what he was capable. A lot of the credit for how Ben developed however, must go to Michael Emerson. As a rather short, skinny, unassuming gent, Emerson could take his large blue eyes and make them terrifying. Suddenly, the bespectacled, bookish man was not just a man, but a monster. Those eyes could be the last thing a character would see before being send to the clearing at the end of the path. But, at the same time, Ben could become that unassuming man, someone we even would cheer for. During the fourth season, Ben caused the deaths of many, but due to the monstrosity of Martin Keamy, we still rooted for Ben, even with his evil ways. His daughter was shot in the head, both hardening Ben, but also adding layers to his character. We learned bits and pieces of his past. We learned how Ben had become the leader of the so called "Others" on the island. And, of course, we learned what Ben's ultimate role on the island was. Though not as dastardly as the five people above him on this list, Benjamin Linus was undoubtedly the highlight of Lost, and really one of the highlights of television in general.

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"TOP FIVE BABY!!" - Tony Vlachos
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5. Thor Gundersen "The Swede"
Played by: Christopher Heyerdahl
Featured on: Hell on Wheels

"In the beginning, there was blood. The land demands it. Every new land demands blood and we relent. It is our nature. We after all, animals. In our arrogance we forget this but in the end we rise from the land only to return." - Thor Gundersen

"While back, I took a stroll through the pit. I saw that kid we got running things down there, uh, Poot. Now, he got the cell phone I gave him for the business, right there on his hip. But, the nigga got another cell phone that only rang when the pussy called. Now, if this no-count nigga got two cell phones, how the fuck you gonna sell any more of them motherfuckers? That's market saturation." - Stringer Bell

Coming in at number four is the most analytical man in Baltimore, including the numbers analysts that work for Mayor Carcetti. Stringer Bell, the second in command in the Barksdale Organization and later leader of it, is a fascinating character, and a diabolical villain. In season one of The Wire, we see Stringer as the brains behind the mob. While Avon is the leader and the man whose name we all know, Stringer is the one orchestrating business, making deals, and learning the economical structure behind the Baltimore streets. For Survivor fans, think of him as the Stephen Fishbach to Avon's J.T. Thomas. For everyone else, think of Stringer as the man who made the machine work, while Avon was the man who built the machine. Together, they were the rulers of Baltimore. However, once split apart, Stringer began to grow even more as a character on his own. After Avon's arrest, Stringer became the man to watch. We already knew that the "mobster" went to economics class, but once we saw how he ran his mafia, it was more businesslike than ever before. He divided up job classes within the streets, organized board meetings, and essentially tried to transform a group of uneducated drug dealers into wall street workers. This led to one of the greatest conflicts in television history: the one between Stringer himself and Avon, upon his release from prison. The old boss verses the new one. Avon remained old school, wanting to run his mob the way he always did: like a mob. Stringer enjoyed his newfound mafia, the one that was a pseudo business. There's a scene, obviously not available on this blog, but probably available on Youtube, wherein String and Avon fight, Stringer in a suit and Avon in a tank top, that essentially defines the entire altercation. Add this to the conflict between Stringer and Omar, Stringer and McNulty, and Stringer and Marlo, and we have a top tier villain. The moment that Stringer went out, The Wire lost one if its greatest aspects.

3. Brother Justin Crowe
Played by: Clancy Brown
Featured on: Carnivale

"Go to hell."
"Why? I plan on bringing it here." - Brother Justin

"Latter day versions of the vile plagues that rained on Egypt, the fires that consumed Soddom and Gomorrah. Scourges of the old testament, yes, but even now, brothers and sisters, even now drought and pestilence fester in the very heart of this great land. Titanic sandstorms, the likes of which man has not seen since the days of the prophets… And I ask myself, "What are these things? What are they, if not evidence of God's fury? What are they, if not harbingers of the apocalypse?" And yet… and yet, as I walked to church today, these troubled thoughts were soothed by a balmy wind. And as I looked out upon the endless acres of rich, untilled earth, I realised, brothers and sisters, that this is truly the promised land and that we are indeed blessed. But let us not forget the less fortunate. Let us not forget that they too were once blessed. And let us not forget that the lord giveth, and the lord taketh away. Amen." - Brother Justin Crowe

Ahh Carnivale. I've written extensively about how fantastic the show was, and about how it was cancelled far too soon in my Ernst Lodz write-up, but before we get on to Mr. Crowe himself, I will reiterate, "WHY DID YOU CANCEL MY CARNIVALE, HBO?! WHY?!"
Alright, with that out of the way, let's get to our #3 villain in television history, shall we? Justin Crowe, introduced to us as the "creature of evil" born into every generation and the quintessential antagonist of Carnivale was a troubled character to start off. All that Crowe wanted to do was help people. He wanted to start an orphanage for the Church. He wanted to allow people to use his congregation as a community. But, as we learn quite soon, destiny prevents any of these things from happening. Instead, Crowe is bound by God, or the Devil, or whatever deities exist in the mythology of Carnivale, have other plans for Justin. His orphanage burns down, killing all the children. His congregation is robbed of funding. As Justin himself states when talking to a group of men and women who had lost important things in their lives, he lost his God. And when God himself betrays a man such as Justin Crowe, a man with unbridled power ready to be unpacked, his vengeance will inevitably be great. Crowe slowly but surely would grow into the ultra-villain that we all knew he would from episode one. This arc however, gave his character definition. He was not a mindless comic book villain, scouring the Earth for blood. He was a man betrayed by all that he loved and forced to go to the wilderness and find his purpose. It wasn't Crowe's fault that he had been chosen for darkness, but darkness was where his story had to lead. And, once things got going, they really got going for Crowe. He made a new congregation, one more reminiscent of The People's Temple than of a Church. And, as the show went on, he found purpose, albeit dark purpose. Almost like Walter White, Justin Crowe found how to be alive. When all was said and done at the end of the show, Crowe did meet his ostensible end, being stabbed in the stomach with a ceremonial scythe, though one cannot help but wonder what plans were in the cards for him had the show gone on longer. As the head antagonist, one can assume that this stabbing was not his ultimate fate, and that the story would have gone much, much deeper into mythology and intrigue. However, we must work with what we have, meaning that instead of the #1 villain, Crowe is number three.

"You know, everyone thought Dad was the ruthless one. But I gotta hand it to you. If you'd been born after those feminists, you woulda been the real gangster." - Tony Soprano

Of all the villains on the list, Livia Soprano is undoubtedly the most fucked up. Of course, the man above her on the list is more brutal, and the man below her on this is more violent, but no one on this list has anything on Livia Soprano in fucked-up-edness. This is why she gets that #2 spot on the list. She never killed anyone, and in her entire run on the show, Livia was nothing but a frail old woman who complained a lot. And yet, her psychological manipulation of others, her sociopath tendencies, and her nihilistic view of the world speak for themselves. Introduced to us as Tony's pain-in-the-ass mother, we viewed Livia as more of a nuisance than anything. However, as she was developed and as we saw her darkness grow, we realized that Livia was the most evil character on a show of villains. She would manipulate Tony into killing and looting. She would manipulate Uncle Junior into doing the same solely for the fact that she could micromanage him. And, when she stopped being able to manipulate Tony, she told Uncle Junior to kill her own son, as he was becoming untrustworthy. As Tony says in the quote above, Livia was the true gangster of The Sopranos. No one else ever could touch her. And as much as we loved to hate Livia, this all comes back around to my comment about fucked-up-edness. What kind of a character has their own kids murdered just for the purpose of micromanaging, at an elder age and house-ridden? Only Livia Soprano. Only the woman who makes Tony Soprano, Ralph Cifaretto, and Silvio Dante look like heroes. For this and for the psychological spin that Livia puts on the character of Tony, she secures herself the number two spot, gliding in only one spot behind...

1. Vernon Schillinger
Played by: J. K. Simmons
Featured on: Oz

"Schillinger! God DAMN IT! Schillinger! I've been here NINE FUCKING YEARS! You'd think you'd know how to say my goddamn name!" - Vern Schillinger

Vern Schillinger (that's Shill-ing-grrr, in case you can't pronounce it,) is the cornerstone of what a villain should be on TV. He's literally everything that one can ask for. He's hate-able, he's lovable, he's fun, he's threatening, he's fucked up, and most of all, he's good television. Over the course of six long seasons of Oz, right up until the last episode when he met his end in the most Shakespearean way possible, the head of the Aryan Brotherhood and God of Carnage in Ozwald High Security Prison loomed like an ever-present shadow over HBO. Right off that bat, we hated him for being a white supremacist, but in the first episode of the show, everything about Schillinger that's great gets across. As we follow Tobias Beecher into jail, Vern pretends to be a nice, caring, Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption type of man. He offers to room with Beecher who is immediately charmed by him. However, on the first night they're together, Schillinger brutally rapes and beats Tobias, leaving him scarred and in the hands of evil itself. We immediately see what the character is all about. He's an actor, he's heartless, and he's a force to be reckoned with. Thus starts a six season long battle between Schillinger and Beecher, culminating in Beecher thrusting a real knife into Vern's heart during a production of Shakespeare's "Hamlet." Across this journey, we see Vern and Tobias have each other's kids killed, Vern trick Tobias into falling in love with Chris Keller, only to wrench him away, and multiple murder attempts. And, while many will say that the conflict between Adebisi and Said is the good vs evil plot of the show, Vern and Tobias are almost certainly the black vs shades of gray plot.
But what makes Vern so incredibly great is largely credited to the work of J.K. Simmons, creating the greatest character on television. We've seen him most recently bring out this darkness in the fantastic Whiplash, but J.K. is able to make the smallest of actions memorable. As Schillinger, the way that he would goad people into joining him, stabbing them in the back, and then continuing his conquest, gave a Machiavellian aspect to the character. The way that he could turn from heartfelt from heartless in a five second turn or any of the ways that he manipulated others made for terrific, yet terrifying television.